09.02.12

So, here it is, my annual pare into the events of 2012. Normally, I come up with all of these myself after looking into my crystal ball, but the briefness’s bad, so my crystal ball is in the pawn shop. These prognostications come from a inflict to Sister Ruby, my psychic, doctor, therapist, masseuse and commerce mechanic.

JANUARY

• The GOP’s Iowa Caususes see a huge conquest as Newt Gingrich finishes a distant fourth to Frog Phillips, Sally Salamander and Marcus Mudpuppy.

• In his Specify of the Union address, President Obama pledges to cut the federal loss by 25 bajillion dollars.

• In the GOP response to the State of the Coalition, Rep. Buford Bussle of Mississippi claims Obama’s $25 bajillion cut doesn’t go nearing far enough.

FEBRUARY

• Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow leaps 75 yards with two seconds liberal in regulation to send Super Bowl XLVI into overtime against the New Orleans Saints.

• The New Orleans Saints win Wonderful Bowl XLVI in overtime when Jesus misses a tackle on Darren Sproles, allowing the race back to score on a 60-yard touchdown run.

Source: Columbus Ledger-Enquirer

by noreply@blogger.com (Robert)

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